The Torment of Graduation...

Student: "Oh my god... I cant believe I'm leaving! I'm going to miss everyone soo much!"

Professor: "I know, I know, but youre going to a GREAT school next year, congratulations!"

Student: "It's just not going to be the same. SWEAR you'll reply to my e-mails!"

Professor: "Of course... bye hon!"


[student continues down the line of teachers hugging people, just out of earshot]


Professor: [face drops] "Thank God..."



The Gauntlet, Graduation '08

Dad lends a comforting hand at hard times...

Near the Crescents, after leave an exam, a person makes a phone call.

"Hey Dad... yeah, I need the for your famous margaritas..."

...I could've done the reading?

Professor: So does anyone know what subjunctive documentaries are... anyone... 

[resounding silence]

Professor: Okay then, well, subjunctive documentaries deal with the conditional, subjects or topics that could happen. For instance, if I gave you a hard final... you would all fail. 

[resounding silence] 

Professor: Yeah, I thought so. 

Monty 

...dem sure are purty!

Girl: I used to have a pair of those... long pant overalls... I wonder what happened to them...

Gay: ...uh... they spontaneously combusted in 1992...!?

Girl: No, I bought them like, sophomore year!

Gay: Oh well, you are from the eastern shore...

The Greens

...the dangers of a small college...

Student #1: [chuckles] What would your Prof. do if he knew you liked him so much?

Student #2: Uhh what would he do if he found out I white-paged his home address, Google-Earth-stalked his house, reverse searched the name of his partner and then Google stalked them... all the while comparing which one of us is better for him...

Student #1: [laughs] You, are a fucking nut case.

Student #2: Yeah, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it...

The Great Room

Blesseth he ain't the Tooth Fairy...

Stopping in the middle of the path outside of the ARC.

Guy: "He squeezed his ass gas out onto my pillow, where I lay my head to rest every eve!"

What happens in the Virgin Vault stays... online...

Girl:  She doesnt like making out with her friends... I dunno shes just weird....

QA Lobby

...mmm a big cup o' man.

Girl #1: ... and it left some nasty residue in my mouth.

Girl #2: [knowingly nods] Ewww yeah... that sometimes happens...

In front of Goodpastor

Like shooting fish in a barrel...

Professor: And...where have we heard this concept articulated before?

[resounding silence]

Professor:...the article that you all hated...?

Student: Heh. Which one?

Monty

Swiss Miss is a crack whore?

Girl #1: How do you make crack?

Girl #2: Oh... you just mix cocoa powder and water...

the Path