Saturday, June 28, 2008

The Torment of Graduation...

Student: "Oh my god... I cant believe I'm leaving! I'm going to miss everyone soo much!"

Professor: "I know, I know, but youre going to a GREAT school next year, congratulations!"

Student: "It's just not going to be the same. SWEAR you'll reply to my e-mails!"

Professor: "Of course... bye hon!"

[student continues down the line of teachers hugging people, just out of earshot]

Professor: [face drops] "Thank God..."

The Gauntlet, Graduation '08

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Dad lends a comforting hand at hard times...

Near the Crescents, after leave an exam, a person makes a phone call.

"Hey Dad... yeah, I need the for your famous margaritas..."

Friday, April 25, 2008

...I could've done the reading?

Professor: So does anyone know what subjunctive documentaries are... anyone... 

[resounding silence]

Professor: Okay then, well, subjunctive documentaries deal with the conditional, subjects or topics that could happen. For instance, if I gave you a hard final... you would all fail

[resounding silence] 

Professor: Yeah, I thought so. 


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

...dem sure are purty!

Girl: I used to have a pair of those... long pant overalls... I wonder what happened to them...

Gay: ...uh... they spontaneously combusted in 1992...!?

Girl: No, I bought them like, sophomore year!

Gay: Oh well, you are from the eastern shore...

The Greens

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

...the dangers of a small college...

Student #1: [chuckles] What would your Prof. do if he knew you liked him so much?

Student #2: Uhh what would he do if he found out I white-paged his home address, Google-Earth-stalked his house, reverse searched the name of his partner and then Google stalked them... all the while comparing which one of us is better for him...

Student #1: [laughs] You, are a fucking nut case.

Student #2: Yeah, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it...

The Great Room

Friday, April 4, 2008

Blesseth he ain't the Tooth Fairy...

Stopping in the middle of the path outside of the ARC.

Guy: "He squeezed his ass gas out onto my pillow, where I lay my head to rest every eve!"

Monday, March 24, 2008

What happens in the Virgin Vault stays... online...

 She doesnt like making out with her friends... I dunno shes just weird....

QA Lobby

Saturday, March 1, 2008

...mmm a big cup o' man.

Girl #1: ... and it left some nasty residue in my mouth.

Girl #2: [knowingly nods] Ewww yeah... that sometimes happens...

In front of Goodpastor

Friday, February 29, 2008

Like shooting fish in a barrel...

Professor: And...where have we heard this concept articulated before?

[resounding silence]

Professor:...the article that you all hated...?

Student: Heh. Which one?


Thursday, February 21, 2008

Swiss Miss is a crack whore?

Girl #1: How do you make crack?

Girl #2: Oh... you just mix cocoa powder and water...

the Path